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Six_and_the_Moon's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
by thornrose22 / 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
by Moody / 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
by jentown11 / 09/28/2009 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love
by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 2Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…