About SiriusBlack97 : I am going to be honest here. I like good food, books, films, Downton Abbey, Harry Potter, adult slumber parties, and flirting. Message me if you think we have anything in common~
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (3437)
On 06/04/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by BloodyMarry (woman) - United States
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (42907)
On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (9338)
On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66030) - you deserved it (2790)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (58333)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37505) - you deserved it (2876)
On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (2852)
On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52820) - you deserved it (6378)
On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43272) - you deserved it (3476)
On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)
Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51706) - you deserved it (4713)
On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (4141)
On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70292) - you deserved it (2671)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47055) - you deserved it (5944)
On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43499) - you deserved it (12688)
On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps randomly spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (6230)
On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
