Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Signy

Search for a member

Signy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Signy's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Signy's badges

Signy's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (1378)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (6355) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (2295)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (3538)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

#20089771
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (2094)

On 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

#20089247
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (1546)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (4934)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (1510)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (4520)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

#20087864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (2631)

On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15295) - you deserved it (28766)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15662) - you deserved it (19703)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: