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About ShansAl : I'm awesome and so is my girlfriend
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Fingerprints everywhere
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3782) - you deserved it (5089)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (1650)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18696) - you deserved it (2252) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9827) - you deserved it (942)
On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia
Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16273) - you deserved it (2470)
Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6726) - you deserved it (624)
On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (979)
On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (10132)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14738) - you deserved it (26106)
Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16166) - you deserved it (4189)
On 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm - animals - by britanyann (woman) - United States
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (6506)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3385) - you deserved it (8117)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4890) - you deserved it (7268)
On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6718) - you deserved it (1951)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (3738)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
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