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Offline (the 12/02/2016 at 5:13am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 December 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 561
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ShaneBarnes's page activity

Visits<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 3:13pm<b>rockeditionbarbi</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 9:15am<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:05pm<b>meghanclean</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 10:46pm<b>val_428</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 11:53pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 2:30pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:58am<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:56pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 11:54am<b>oxomocchioxo</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 1:08am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 1:56pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 7:40am<b>emokitty91</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:28am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:46pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 4:29am<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 2:47am<b>Jennapea</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 5:29pm<b>cakester123</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 4:02am

Fucked!<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 9:13pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 7:56pm<b>Bunnyluver</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:00am

ShaneBarnes's FML badges


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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ShaneBarnes's badges

ShaneBarnes's favorite FMLs

Today, while brushing my teeth, a fly flew into my mouth. It got caught in my electric toothbrush and was sucked into the circular bristles, getting crushed between the brush and my braces. I now have fly guts and goo stuck between my brackets, and I can't get rid of the taste. FML

by PackardBell / 03/27/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

by joanikens / 03/26/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

by lbg2msf / 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

by kiwibox / 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Animals

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

by MJ3105 / 05/07/2009 at 7:36am / Israel / Animals