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Sexy_Smurf

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Sexy_Smurf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 August 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 923
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Sexy_Smurf : I'm just me, nothing more - nothing less.... I have a gorgeous boyfriend & 2 beautiful children and a little smurf on the way..all of whom I adore. Life is pretty good right now!

Sexy_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>yehyeh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:13am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>grogers311</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:17pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Dpac7</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:02pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:00pm<b>Cloveland99</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:51pm<b>sawyercarten</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 8:25am<b>maravenus</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:44am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:02am<b>holyblahblah</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 4:36pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 12:20am<b>kiakia0131</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 5:40pm<b>jaug1337</b> - the 06/20/2012 at 10:38am<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 6:58pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 1:22pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 11:04am

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Sexy_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

#19286997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9432) - you deserved it (20434)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (5011)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
191 comments

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (32791)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6140) - you deserved it (43471)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (18117)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (5726)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you deserved it (2451)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (3607)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (2226)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (7442)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (5918)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States



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