Sexy_Smurf

Search for a member

Sexy_Smurf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 August 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1714
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Sexy_Smurf : I'm just me, nothing more - nothing less.... I have a gorgeous boyfriend & 2 beautiful children and a little smurf on the way..all of whom I adore. Life is pretty good right now!

Sexy_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:42am<b>zingline89</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:13am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:29am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:13am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>grogers311</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:17pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Dpac7</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:02pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:00pm<b>Cloveland99</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:51pm<b>sawyercarten</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 8:25am<b>maravenus</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:44am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:02am<b>holyblahblah</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 4:36pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 12:20am<b>kiakia0131</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 5:40pm

Sexy_Smurf's FML badges

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Sexy_Smurf's badges

Sexy_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

by 0stvn0 / 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

by muzikmaler91 / 03/15/2012 at 5:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

by Simms / 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm / United States / Work

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

by Samantha / 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

by lovefortoday / 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

by lanu / 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

by dumbfriend / 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love