Sexy_Smurf

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Sexy_Smurf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 August 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1591
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Sexy_Smurf : I'm just me, nothing more - nothing less.... I have a gorgeous boyfriend & 2 beautiful children and a little smurf on the way..all of whom I adore. Life is pretty good right now!

Sexy_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:42am<b>zingline89</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:13am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:29am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:13am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>grogers311</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 10:17pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Dpac7</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:02pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:00pm<b>Cloveland99</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:51pm<b>sawyercarten</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 8:25am<b>maravenus</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:44am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 4:02am<b>holyblahblah</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 4:36pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 12:20am<b>kiakia0131</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 5:40pm

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Sexy_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

by emoflowers / 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

by user210 / 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy