Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 12:22am) | Search for a member
About SexyQueen0905 : Well, if you are reading this "About Me" then I won't disappoint.
- I attended a college ranked #4 by US News, so it's either Columbia, Stanford, or University of Chicago. I'll leave a little mystery. (Or rather, I'm proud of my school but don't want to give my location)
-I'm a huge Queen fan.
- I'm quite a serious tennis player..
- I will do anything to get to Spain and I mean ANYTHING!!!!
- I'm black and proud of it!
- I'm a liberal. Got a problem with that, go to hell.
- I am an atheist. (See second sentence of previous bullet)
- Yes, I realize the irony of the the previous bullet.
- Extras and Flight of the Conchords are my favorite TV shows
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
Friday 5 February 2016