Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About SexyQueen0905 : Well, if you are reading this "About Me" then I won't disappoint.
- I'm a huge Queen fan. Completely obsessed. For example, my username has "Queen" in it and 0905 is the birthdate of the late Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen and my idol.
- I'm quite a serious tennis player..
- I will do anything to get to Italy and I mean ANYTHING!!!!
- I'm black and proud of it!
- You will never find a firmer supporter of gay rights (who is not gay)
- I'm a liberal. Got a problem with that, go to hell.
- I am an atheist. (See second sentence of previous bullet)
- Extras and Flight of the Conchords are my favorite TV shows
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014