Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexyQueen0905

Online | Search for a member

SexyQueen0905

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4100
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

About SexyQueen0905 : Well, if you are reading this "About Me" then I won't disappoint.

- I'm a huge Queen fan. Completely obsessed. For example, my username has "Queen" in it and 0905 is the birthdate of the late Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen and my idol.

- I'm quite a serious tennis player..

- I will do anything to get to Italy and I mean ANYTHING!!!!

- I'm black and proud of it!

- You will never find a firmer supporter of gay rights (who is not gay)

- I'm a liberal. Got a problem with that, go to hell.

- I am an atheist. (See second sentence of previous bullet)

- Extras and Flight of the Conchords are my favorite TV shows

SexyQueen0905's page activity

Visits<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:42pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:46pm<b>piggybits</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:43pm<b>DragonPorn</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:39pm<b>pantsman66</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Aurelian</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:22pm<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:30am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:34am<b>jbracht221</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:59pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:57pm<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:12pm<b>spaceduck</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 9:58pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:29am<b>Cameron257</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:10pm<b>facelick</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:04am

Liked!<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:41am

SexyQueen0905's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SexyQueen0905's badges

SexyQueen0905's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (11077)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (38707)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (7284)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56089) - you deserved it (9306)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54895) - you deserved it (7739)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
172 comments

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54997) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45797) - you deserved it (3499)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (8804)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (50012)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (3020)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65671) - you deserved it (12619)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (5989)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32272) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (4721)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: