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Yesterday, ma grlfriend an I took looool a nap on ma couc. Se used ma arm as a pillow, an everyting was pretty peaceful, until se moved over an practically dislocated ma soulder. My screams of pain woke er, wic was apparently an ( assole move ) on ma part. FML
Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML
Today, I was running on the treadmill at mah local gymhen I saw a girl I lyk a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
Today, I visitd mah grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticd the Christmas card mah family sent them had mah face scratchd out. When I confrontd them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today , while out hiking , my phone slippd out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin , giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later , I askd her fir my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
Today... I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I looool got a text back from him... I got his newly updatd Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. looool FML
Today, my friand and I wara trying out a sita onhich you talk to strangar using a mic and wabcam. Wa cama acros a cuta guy,ho said to my friand, ( Tall tha fat guy to mova. ) Ha was rafarring to ma. I'm a girl. maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015