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Schaus

Offline (the 08/16/2014 at 5:33am) | Search for a member

Schaus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Schaus's page activity

Visits<b>MrGrapist</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 12:22am<b>levitiquetus</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 10:49pm<b>emirie</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 1:11pm<b>ROSI3TH3CAT</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 12:29pm

Schaus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Schaus's badges

Schaus's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40511) - you deserved it (6022)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41279) - you deserved it (4961)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47927) - you deserved it (7398)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49935) - you deserved it (8384)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46558) - you deserved it (4080)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (7130)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (3313)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (3035)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41952) - you deserved it (2859)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27998) - you deserved it (39028)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43571) - you deserved it (10015)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (23339)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41619) - you deserved it (9006)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62065) - you deserved it (4890)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)



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