Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sandsh8rk

Online | Search for a member

Sandsh8rk

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14207
  • Number of comments : 541
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Sandsh8rk : Oh, hello. You seem to have stumbled across my FML page.

And yes, I know my profile picture perfectly matches my comment.

Sandsh8rk's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - yesterday at 10:17am<b>janeius</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:53pm<b>notzax</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:45pm<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:02am<b>doodFML</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:21pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:46pm<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:18pm<b>Accurate_Vision</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:25am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:27am<b>2nd</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:08am<b>apaul982</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 3:39pm<b>Sammy342</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:04pm<b>bgodbold</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:06am<b>esther23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:16pm<b>Thorin2012</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 7:03pm<b>IceCharge</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:58pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:23am

Fucked!<b>doodFML</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:21am<b>esther23</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:17pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:14pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:40pm<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Unrecognisable</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:21am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:39am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:14am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:03am<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:40pm

Sandsh8rk's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Sandsh8rk's badges

Sandsh8rk's favorite FMLs

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37018) - you deserved it (8162)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
113 comments

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (4108)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (3303)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49711) - you deserved it (4202)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (36912)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: