Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sandsh8rk

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 10:16pm) | Search for a member

Sandsh8rk

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11716
  • Number of comments : 500
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Sandsh8rk : Oh, hello. You seem to have stumbled across my FML page.

And yes, I know my profile picture perfectly matches my comment.

Sandsh8rk's page activity

Visits<b>sadieloretta</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:41am<b>jkidding</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:10am<b>mrhe3t</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:53am<b>TroubleWithStich</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:35pm<b>Nexpecto</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:24pm<b>DarkPandaXD</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:11am<b>Unrecognisable</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:39am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:33am<b>stephable</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Genghis</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Dide9872</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:11am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:25am<b>fridsten</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:33am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:39am<b>ScarletRoses92</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:30am

Liked!<b>Unrecognisable</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:21am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:39am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:14am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:03am<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:40pm

Sandsh8rk's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Sandsh8rk's badges

Sandsh8rk's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (7547)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (5006)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (5739)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (36807)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34543) - you deserved it (4413)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

#21308358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29128) - you deserved it (2647)

On 11/29/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by justawallflower - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: