Sammiches

Search for a member

Sammiches

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4247
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sammiches : Hi, my name's Sammiches, I like to draw, watch movies and play videogames.
Valve games are my favourite. (Team Fortress 2, Portal, Half Life)
I mostly listen to electro music (Gemini, Caravan Palace)
Feel free to message me about anything.

Sammiches's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>jokerphreak</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:34am<b>booman342</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:12am<b>WJM505</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 3:59pm<b>goatshark</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:31pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:55pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:22am<b>martialartist18</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:24pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:39am<b>lovinlife028</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:03am<b>Miss_Red</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:13am<b>Killer67a</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:31pm<b>lordofpantry</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Thatrand0mguy</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:51am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:04am

Sammiches's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Sammiches's badges

Sammiches's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

by no more tp / 02/17/2011 at 1:22am / Health

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

by dickwebs / 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm / Germany / Animals

Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML

by Username / 07/01/2010 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

by GrandmaShakers / 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy