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Sammiches

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Sammiches

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2167
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sammiches : Hi, my name's Sammiches, I like to draw, watch movies and play videogames.
Valve games are my favourite. (Team Fortress 2, Portal, Half Life)
I mostly listen to electro music (Gemini, Caravan Palace)
Feel free to message me about anything.

Sammiches's page activity

Visits<b>Tezoma</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:03am<b>Miss_Red</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:13am<b>Killer67a</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:31pm<b>lordofpantry</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Thatrand0mguy</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:51am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:04am<b>silon5</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:58pm<b>adamjcurryy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:49am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:30am<b>sarah_amy</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:19am<b>who_else00</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:11pm<b>sockoiid</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>carbivore</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 6:49pm<b>nastag</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Decky_Bar</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:43am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:01pm<b>threer</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:17am<b>Jandude</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 5:09am

Sammiches's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Sammiches's badges

Sammiches's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12637) - you deserved it (57877)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13674) - you deserved it (47951)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (16317)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47030) - you deserved it (4449)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37147) - you deserved it (31492)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (82817)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (8696)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (6533)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

#15011813
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (3798)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40740) - you deserved it (26828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

#14596277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (4146)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34002) - you deserved it (4626)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35687) - you deserved it (4636)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)



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