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Sammiches

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Sammiches

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2052
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sammiches : Hi, my name's Sammiches, I like to draw, watch movies and play videogames.
Valve games are my favourite. (Team Fortress 2, Portal, Half Life)
I mostly listen to electro music (Gemini, Caravan Palace)
Feel free to message me about anything.

Sammiches's page activity

Visits<b>Thatrand0mguy</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:51am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:04am<b>silon5</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:58pm<b>adamjcurryy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:49am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:30am<b>sarah_amy</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:19am<b>who_else00</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:11pm<b>sockoiid</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>carbivore</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 6:49pm<b>nastag</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Decky_Bar</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:43am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:01pm<b>threer</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:17am<b>Jandude</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 5:09am<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 5:52pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:09am<b>christie33</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:12am<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 8:02pm

Sammiches's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Sammiches's badges

Sammiches's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35431) - you deserved it (4982)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30447) - you deserved it (5180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (5979)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (10787)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

#17980981
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (2082)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by cnkk07 - United States

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

#17977433
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (10701)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

#17975485
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (2556)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm - misc - by brit (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11720) - you deserved it (41580)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (3702)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

#17965139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5439) - you deserved it (43566)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Beaky (woman) - Canada

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (2818)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States



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