Sammiches

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Sammiches

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4248
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Sammiches : Hi, my name's Sammiches, I like to draw, watch movies and play videogames.
Valve games are my favourite. (Team Fortress 2, Portal, Half Life)
I mostly listen to electro music (Gemini, Caravan Palace)
Feel free to message me about anything.

Sammiches's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>jokerphreak</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:34am<b>booman342</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:12am<b>WJM505</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 3:59pm<b>goatshark</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:31pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:55pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:09pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:22am<b>martialartist18</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:24pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:39am<b>lovinlife028</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:03am<b>Miss_Red</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:13am<b>Killer67a</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:31pm<b>lordofpantry</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Thatrand0mguy</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:51am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:04am

Sammiches's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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Sammiches's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

by cnkk07 / 10/14/2011 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

by brit / 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

by dust1535538 / 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

by Beaky / 10/12/2011 at 1:09am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

by FroggyGirl888 / 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous