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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4346
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."

Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:22pm<b>constipation</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:01am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:14am<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:30am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:20am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:49pm<b>DaBayst</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:29am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:28pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:11pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:45am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:21am<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:13pm<b>icyconix</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:23pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:32pm

Fucked!<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:24pm

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9290) - you deserved it (49891)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12115) - you deserved it (74867)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68791) - you deserved it (5089)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (275054)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (51392) - you deserved it (8437)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12695) - you deserved it (80521)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44842) - you deserved it (16182)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML


I agree, your life sucks (96511) - you deserved it (28893)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64681) - you deserved it (5776)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (77592)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53711) - you deserved it (4186)

On 03/05/2009 at 12:14am - work - by UhhhUhhhRRRick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (254697) - you deserved it (33945)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML


I agree, your life sucks (49893) - you deserved it (5254)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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