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Saltime

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Saltime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4165
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:14am<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:30am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:20am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:49pm<b>DaBayst</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:29am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:28pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:11pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:45am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:21am<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:13pm<b>icyconix</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:23pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:32pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Iogic</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:29am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:33pm

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (57484)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28904) - you deserved it (3390)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (19614)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (4736)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (5594)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13306) - you deserved it (48926)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (5747)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28647) - you deserved it (2348)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

#7458972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you deserved it (30520)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37570) - you deserved it (13261)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39778) - you deserved it (2977)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4431) - you deserved it (52630)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML

#6695402
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (2736)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (Indiana)



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