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Saltime

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Saltime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3856
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:28pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:11pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:45am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:21am<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:13pm<b>icyconix</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:23pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:32pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Iogic</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:29am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:33pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:44pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:37am<b>noinspiration</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:10am<b>DavidsBaby</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:15am

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (4333)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (65094)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (19982) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML

#14111441
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (4207)

On 12/06/2010 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (7888)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (7194)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (5804)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (4773)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

#13376999
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14513) - you deserved it (23308)

On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (14841)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (33896)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49805) - you deserved it (17514)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9143) - you deserved it (40209)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

#8969513
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33825) - you deserved it (3213)

On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)



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