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Saltime

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Saltime
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2345
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's last visitors

DavidsBabybrittanyavidoDavaliciousalexmac222Booda_ShunMr_Bleepdabloopmariepastygluelegendaryplya

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

#16527718
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (13718)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (5896)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90881) - you deserved it (9841)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9636) - you deserved it (35552)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (4208)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (6376) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (5465)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

#15719480
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (3973)

On 04/10/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43627) - you deserved it (13069)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13473) - you deserved it (28247)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

#15115506
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by gumpy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (40206)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (5119)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

#14994829
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (5233)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by Ihavealisp (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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