Saltime

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Saltime

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4761
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:31pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:41pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:22pm<b>constipation</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:01am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:14am<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:30am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:20am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:49pm<b>DaBayst</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:29am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:28pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:11pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:45am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:21am<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:13pm

Fucked!<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:24pm

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

by jreed509 / 07/03/2011 at 1:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

by RYZILLAHitZ / 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

by nomorefreehugs / 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

by suxx / 06/25/2011 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

by wowohwow / 06/23/2011 at 12:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

by youknowwhatitis / 06/22/2011 at 9:31am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

by blondetergent / 06/20/2011 at 4:12am / Singapore / Love

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

by crushed dreams / 06/16/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

by Braxam / 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Health

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

by Jake Whitte / 06/06/2011 at 9:50am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous