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Saltime

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Saltime

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3060
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:11pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:45am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:21am<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:13pm<b>icyconix</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:23pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:32pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Iogic</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:29am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:33pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:44pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:37am<b>noinspiration</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:10am<b>DavidsBaby</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:15am<b>Davalicious</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:55am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:55am<b>leazure</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 4:24pm

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14455) - you deserved it (43465)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (3624)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (5239)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (37086)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61252) - you deserved it (7523)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (7646)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36592) - you deserved it (5475)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8936) - you deserved it (30778)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (11871)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

#16758820
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (13529)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15069) - you deserved it (215019)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

#16676929
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (3280)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (57916)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50203) - you deserved it (3440)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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