About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.
"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."
Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.
If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :
"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.
Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi
Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)
Enjoy FML!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43143) - you deserved it (11802)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (2300)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (24430)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6079) - you deserved it (43898)
On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (4143)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28257) - you deserved it (4426)
On 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
I agree, your life sucks (9376) - you deserved it (21425)
On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (32348)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (7361)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (4085)
On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42554) - you deserved it (4472)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10574) - you deserved it (22874)
On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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