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Saltime

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Saltime

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2836
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Iogic</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:29am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 6:33pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:44pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:37am<b>noinspiration</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:10am<b>DavidsBaby</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:15am<b>Davalicious</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:55am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:55am<b>leazure</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 4:24pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:47pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:49am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 12:15pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:32pm<b>PabloThePancake</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:43am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 3:46pm

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (41287)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (18309)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10939) - you deserved it (39313)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (27018) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (36505)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (9431)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (4539)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (31346)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (45255)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (4571)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (4571)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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