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Saltime

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Saltime
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2359
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's last visitors

DavidsBabybrittanyavidoDavaliciousalexmac222Booda_ShunMr_Bleepdabloopmariepastygluelegendaryplya

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (29908)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (17836)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you deserved it (38094)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (24757) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13367) - you deserved it (34595)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2799)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2799)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33474) - you deserved it (7315)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (4348)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (3424)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13618) - you deserved it (27875)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21189) - you deserved it (41762)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (4288)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (4288)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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