Saltime

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Saltime

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4751
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Saltime : I fell from the sky. I was sent here with one purpose: to create classical and comical comments on FML.

"They hated me. But their hate only fueled my passion."


Now, if you make a stupid comment, you better be ready to back it up.

If you comment with one of the following, I'm going to ruin you. :

"First!"
"That's a shitty situation." (Or any "shitty" pun).
"Haha!" / "LOL."
"YDI for [stupid unrelated reason]."
"[Women in kitchen joke]."
"[Comment that is impossible to read]".
"You spelled [word] wrong!!"
You best be watching your back.

Some experienced users on FML:
•DocBastard
•Sirin
•every1luvsboners
•Perdix
•Didi

Don't screw with them. They'll literally tear you apart. (In addition to a possible Coca-Cola bottle up your arse.)

Enjoy FML!

Saltime's page activity

Visits<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:31pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:41pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:22pm<b>constipation</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:01am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:14am<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:30am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:20am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:49pm<b>DaBayst</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:29am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:28pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:20am<b>loveblondie</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:50pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:11pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:45am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:21am<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:13pm

Fucked!<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:24pm

Saltime's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Saltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

by Kevin / 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 4:36am / United States / Health

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/05/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous