Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

STr8_CaLi_d0p3

Search for a member

STr8_CaLi_d0p3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About STr8_CaLi_d0p3 : Maybe later

STr8_CaLi_d0p3's last visitors

ReliusrockinbrookejcmccarthyalliewayIwtumnwhy_teh_hellmaddiiee00fgsupermanbaileyfresshhhh

STr8_CaLi_d0p3's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of STr8_CaLi_d0p3's badges

STr8_CaLi_d0p3's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63705) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

#15945693
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (3903)

On 04/27/2011 at 4:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (11793)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (43295)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

#15930581
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (3161)

On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was speeding a little on the highway. I thought I saw a police car, so I slammed on my brakes, causing the person behind me to rear end me. The "police car" I saw was just a broken down car on the side of the road. FML

#14023247
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4466) - you deserved it (39178)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by fuckina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (2886)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (5183)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (5183)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: