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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 May 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1465
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About RyanWolves : Today, my girlfriend and I were at her home alone and found a pair of handcuffs, i put it on one wrist for fun thinking it was fake. They weren't fake and we couldn't find a key. After hours of trying to pick the lock I get in my car to go home as a cop rolls up to the house because her parents got into a heated dispute, i had to let the cop know what happened to get the handcuffs off...oh and she's underage. FML

RyanWolves's page activity

Visits<b>Cadburry</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:06pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:30am<b>blahblahgbh</b> - the 08/22/2011 at 1:48pm<b></b> - the 10/23/2010 at 11:02pm<b>Audio828</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 8:12am<b>alex_vik</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 4:31am<b>Serial</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 4:19am<b>tren</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 12:45am

RyanWolves's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RyanWolves's favorite FMLs

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

by shewholaughsatthedead / 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

by traveller / 04/13/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New Mexico) / Holidays

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

by wideman / 02/28/2009 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy