Runninvegan

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Runninvegan

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1577
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Runninvegan : So... Does this napkin smell like Chloroform to you?

Runninvegan's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:25am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 4:38am<b>krazy789</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:39pm<b>emo_and_supreme</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:12pm<b>zzarzzur</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:55pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:21pm<b>ber_moresushi</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:09am<b>CravenCat</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 7:17pm<b>Dallyni</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:37pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:37pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:55am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:51pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:14am<b>Unknown939</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:08am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 6:08pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 2:41pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:38am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:29am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 7:02am

Runninvegan's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Runninvegan's badges

Runninvegan's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

by pimpslaprequired / 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

by Steve / 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money