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Runninvegan

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Runninvegan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1051
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Runninvegan : So... Does this napkin smell like Chloroform to you?

Runninvegan's page activity

Visits<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:26am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:21am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Nyx7</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:16pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:55pm<b>x_hero</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:13am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:25am<b>anywhereanytime</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:20pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:32pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:43am<b>myoukei</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 8:34pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 6:38pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:14am<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:32am<b>robotiick7</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:13pm<b>furyan345</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:07pm<b>garycalgary</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 12:05am

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Runninvegan's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (6587)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3459)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (2533)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (3730)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35411) - you deserved it (8929)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (3137)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

#20001108
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (4318)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27016) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10738) - you deserved it (36872)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35229) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33465) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (15712)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (15772)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8398) - you deserved it (105062)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)



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