About Rockyio : ...If you have ever jerked off while eating a banana.. your a homo
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52362) - you deserved it (3451)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31387) - you deserved it (9579)
On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52204) - you deserved it (5022)
On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33130) - you deserved it (15658)
On 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56404) - you deserved it (7318)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7692) - you deserved it (47671)
On 08/25/2009 at 10:17am - love - by sickened (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you deserved it (8939)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:54am - love - by kalazoo21 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (27047)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you deserved it (21555)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49837) - you deserved it (9259)
On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (7811)
On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11784) - you deserved it (37274)
On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (3054)
On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (1571)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (2019)
On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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