About Rockyio : ...If you have ever jerked off while eating a banana.. your a homo
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (1892)
On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (9346)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11438) - you deserved it (37286)
On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the drive way, hurting my leg and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (8523)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:45am - health - by broken (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9078) - you deserved it (39732)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10727) - you deserved it (48639)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (2108)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (253931)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46443) - you deserved it (3482)
On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5426) - you deserved it (55582)
On 09/01/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36119) - you deserved it (2248)
On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (2800)
On 09/01/2009 at 8:52am - love - by lovesucks (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3717)
On 09/01/2009 at 7:44am - work - by spinner (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord. Meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10342) - you deserved it (30966)
On 09/01/2009 at 3:30am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32998) - you deserved it (10893)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
