About Rockyio : ...If you have ever jerked off while eating a banana.. your a homo
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52819) - you deserved it (9989)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (2247)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5757) - you deserved it (42010)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by SenescentSouthernBoy (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98348) - you deserved it (4142)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39461) - you deserved it (2782)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (7688)
On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35571) - you deserved it (5821)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49226) - you deserved it (3594)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (26303)
On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (26303)
On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39632) - you deserved it (3680)
On 08/14/2009 at 3:34am - kids - by thebabysitter (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (5304)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (2159)
On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74088) - you deserved it (1902)
On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30731) - you deserved it (71487)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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