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Rockycute01's favorite FMLs
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Tashie01 / 04/29/2012 at 6:10am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
by kengu / 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:31pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Animals
by Rayvyn / 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
by heresmybellybotton / 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
by thisreallyhappened / 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML
by buymeadrank / 04/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Idaho) / Health
Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML
by tinfoilnirvana / 04/29/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
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- Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her… Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the… Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers,…
- Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…