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Ritualized

Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 4:51pm) | Search for a member

Ritualized

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 617
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Ritualized : I'm 17 years old and my passion is guitar playing and singing :)

Ritualized's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Ritualized's favorite FMLs

Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML

#1090882
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49933) - you deserved it (11832)

On 04/18/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by granny_panties (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51560) - you deserved it (18190)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (674225) - you deserved it (452811)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48178) - you deserved it (11602)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

#295794
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73736) - you deserved it (5492)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

#271992
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (85275)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:35pm - intimacy - by awkwardgayboi (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60317) - you deserved it (4927)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55443) - you deserved it (14439)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (262853) - you deserved it (62207)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

#73604
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (15520)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Rye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

#13590
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (5927)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (7076)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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