Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Rianokami

Search for a member

Rianokami
  • Town/Country : Tucson, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 744
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Rianokami : Just a random lurker that occasionally submits FML's or comments.

Rianokami's last visitors

ZY1431neonvortexloveexgirlOwlfarm612mFUNdo21EnmaYamatoSkyGuy32BFonsJ352SAURUS

Rianokami's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Rianokami's badges

Rianokami's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (3402)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35137) - you deserved it (4490)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (5223)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35695) - you deserved it (2492)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (4519)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39933) - you deserved it (5220)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (4703)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML

#21083172
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (11106)

On 03/10/2014 at 2:43pm - misc - by lovehaterelationship (woman) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

#21078463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (2830)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37459) - you deserved it (9925)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47607) - you deserved it (4476)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44324) - you deserved it (4781)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: