Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RavingHaven

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

RavingHaven

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5538
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RavingHaven : Crazy writer, roleplayer, graphics artist, coder, photographer, musician, gamer (Mass Effect & Skyrim), baker. I'm also demisexual, agnostic, and yet weirdly spiritual. I like the idea of having a patron goddess. I love anything coffee-flavored and my little brother.

RavingHaven's page activity

Visits<b>123765</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:41pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:20pm<b>CaptainPonytail</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:14am<b>Kewl_Kat</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:19pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:20am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:06am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:29am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:56pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:02pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:32pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:57pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:02am<b>lammm</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:21am<b>423</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:29am<b>nevstah</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:58am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:27pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:40am

RavingHaven's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of RavingHaven's badges

RavingHaven's favorite FMLs

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (48501)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (48501)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (4397)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (2658)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (4704)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (3758)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (35393)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49283) - you deserved it (3260)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37134) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: