Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RavingHaven

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

RavingHaven

4Liked!

RavingHavenRavingHaven
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 November 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10124
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RavingHaven : Crazy writer, roleplayer, graphics artist, coder, photographer, musician, gamer (Mass Effect, Dragon Age & Skyrim), baker. I'm also graysexual, agnostic, and yet weirdly spiritual. I like the idea of having a patron goddess. I love anything coffee-flavored and my little brother.

RavingHaven's page activity

Visits<b>keiNan</b> - 10 hours ago<b>snowflaky</b> - 10 hours ago<b>ihartmytdi</b> - 12 hours ago<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:02pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:04pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gearhead369</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:42am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:45am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:19am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:36pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:32am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:24am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:54pm<b>fmlinact</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:19pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:11pm<b>lovefrog</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:15am<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:11am

Liked!<b>keiNan</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:57am<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:05am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:24am<b>fmlinact</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:44pm

RavingHaven's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of RavingHaven's badges

RavingHaven's favorite FMLs

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (4811)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29999) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (6322)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after doing tons of research on a wand my little brother wanted for Christmas, I finally found one on eBay for $60. After already giving my credit card info and confirming the purchase, my dad called me and told me he found the exact same one for six bucks at a local toy store. FML

#21322266
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (5756)

On 12/22/2014 at 7:54pm - money - by trippybmth (man) - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45935) - you deserved it (11864)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (7529)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41681) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44103) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (5365)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (7981)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35522) - you deserved it (8594)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38386) - you deserved it (10824)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: