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RaveBlade's FML badges
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RaveBlade's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
by cay / 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML
by Danny / 11/11/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML
by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Timmeeh / 10/10/2012 at 12:45pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
by Burntintomyretinas / 09/19/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to…