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Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (2622)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (3768)
On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (6206)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (25800)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (3298)
On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (3504)
On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (5180)
On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8125) - you deserved it (32900) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (1370)
On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (7840)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (1505)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (3249)
On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (9732)
On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)
Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (5855)
On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (3129)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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