Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Raelthelamb

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

Raelthelamb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9573
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Raelthelamb : My life sucks, and that's why I'm here.

Raelthelamb's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:09pm<b>sissy478</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:32pm<b>ChawanKiti</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:06am<b>mintcon</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:14pm<b>thecouchisalive</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:50am<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:03pm<b>memily63</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:22pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:12pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:32pm<b>candiicane</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:01pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:33pm<b>badminton</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:29pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:23am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:11pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:14pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:24am

Raelthelamb's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Raelthelamb's badges

Raelthelamb's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45539) - you deserved it (5048)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (23077)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (3664) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

#20822442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44615) - you deserved it (6685)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46055) - you deserved it (2755)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49440) - you deserved it (4858)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60779) - you deserved it (5967)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

#20818189
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47797) - you deserved it (4575)

On 08/03/2013 at 2:46am - misc - by fsdjhgasjlhg (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53464) - you deserved it (8509)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

#20809207
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48807) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:30am - work - by Fitz - United States

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44636) - you deserved it (7891)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44619) - you deserved it (14724)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: