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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48691) - you deserved it (1962)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5785) - you deserved it (52008)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18489) - you deserved it (6523)
On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (5048)
On 12/03/2009 at 11:08am - misc - by urinanalysis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29762) - you deserved it (2775)
On 12/02/2009 at 6:36am - health - by michelle91 (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26223) - you deserved it (3733)
On 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm - work - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (7938)
On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (1966)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9351) - you deserved it (31615)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (10118)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19195) - you deserved it (3421)
On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (5602)
On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16548) - you deserved it (558)
On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15974) - you deserved it (5112)
On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (2798)
On 11/17/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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