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Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21512) - you deserved it (8793)
On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)
Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (12255)
On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33458) - you deserved it (4382)
On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (10980)
On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (28456)
On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45447) - you deserved it (4603)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (5943)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12760) - you deserved it (3917)
On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4936) - you deserved it (25710)
On 03/12/2010 at 11:39am - work - by jewel87 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11298) - you deserved it (1828)
On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (2595)
On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States
Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (2875)
On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14099) - you deserved it (4654)
On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23558) - you deserved it (2302)
On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)
Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18166) - you deserved it (3443)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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