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Raelthelamb

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Raelthelamb
  • Town/Country : At your window, watching you sleep
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4806
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Raelthelamb : Graham the ham. That's what I am.
Graham's the name. Making bad rhymes is my game.

what am I doing with my life

Raelthelamb's last visitors

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Raelthelamb's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23860) - you deserved it (3959)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20422) - you deserved it (4030)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (5678)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (25589)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

#19460120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (3554)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (2580)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

#19448273
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36170) - you deserved it (2969)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:53am - health - by Scabby (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (2379)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19824) - you deserved it (4403)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19690) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8832) - you deserved it (47939)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (4355)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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