Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Raelthelamb

Offline (yesterday at 4:32am) | Search for a member

Raelthelamb

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 October 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24043
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Raelthelamb : FML veteran since 2009. I've read and voted on every single FML on this site. I really need to get a life...

Raelthelamb's page activity

Visits<b>maddod26</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 11:55pm<b>paintballwarrior</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:42pm<b>poorjudgement</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:41am<b>umerin</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:38am<b>SaintGoobers</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 1:46am<b>amberdea404</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>Kaylyn15</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:00pm<b>TheGamingNirvana</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 7:03am<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 3:28am<b>TheDoctor10</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 12:55am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:42pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:05pm<b>ash1028</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:47am<b>RWBYRose</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:19pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:38pm<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:51pm<b>daisysadie</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:17pm

Fucked!<b>paintballwarrior</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:43pm<b>beatlegirl27</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:55am

Raelthelamb's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Raelthelamb's badges

Raelthelamb's favorite FMLs

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12129) - you deserved it (35444)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (19743)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11174) - you deserved it (64457)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (1993)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

#20114046
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (1661)

On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (3218)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82582) - you deserved it (9661)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (2188)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18331) - you deserved it (66436)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15228) - you deserved it (35145)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

#20108200
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (30552)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (4034)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: