Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Raelthelamb

Offline (19 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Raelthelamb

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 October 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21004
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Raelthelamb : I've read and voted on every single FML on this site. I really need to get a life...

Raelthelamb's page activity

Visits<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:05pm<b>ash1028</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:47am<b>RWBYRose</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:22am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:19pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:38pm<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:51pm<b>daisysadie</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:03pm<b>sam882</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:32pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:58am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:47am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 6:19am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:27am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 12:57am<b>mergeterge</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:19am<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:20pm<b>owencgray</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:33pm<b>TKCat</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:39am

Fucked!<b>beatlegirl27</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:55am

Raelthelamb's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Raelthelamb's badges

Raelthelamb's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (4886)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50587) - you deserved it (4849)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48687) - you deserved it (2565)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12869) - you deserved it (42265)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (4740)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52766) - you deserved it (3989)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (8542)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (41472)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (3717)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (6366)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (7713)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43962) - you deserved it (8427)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

#20408692
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (7373)

On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (14296)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: