Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Raelthelamb

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

Raelthelamb

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14993
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Raelthelamb : I've read and voted on every single FML on this site. I really need to get a life...

Raelthelamb's page activity

Visits<b>owencgray</b> - yesterday at 5:33pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:38am<b>TKCat</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:39am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:13am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 3:07pm<b>cdawg69</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 12:56am<b>sam882</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:19pm<b>_DeathsMelody_</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:27am<b>poor_gurll1198</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 5:59pm<b>SmittyJA24</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:28pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:55am<b>PhotoSmith</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:37pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:10am<b>beatlegirl27</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:09pm<b>sissy478</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:32pm<b>ChawanKiti</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:06am

Liked!<b>beatlegirl27</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:55am

Raelthelamb's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Raelthelamb's badges

Raelthelamb's favorite FMLs

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (1641)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18240) - you deserved it (2495)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (1913)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6409) - you deserved it (43304)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (2043)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7387) - you deserved it (32500)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (1951)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (4640)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (43069)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (1937)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: