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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2038)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11439) - you deserved it (42776)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (1761)
On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (11658)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (2684)
On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (27237)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2014)
On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50707) - you deserved it (10764)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (4051)
On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (2559)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (4810)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (3206)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (1603)
On 03/27/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by Soggy Sophia - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34362) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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