Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Raelthelamb

Offline (the 07/20/2014 at 9:01pm) | Search for a member

Raelthelamb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7652
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Raelthelamb : My life sucks, and that's why I'm here.

Raelthelamb's page activity

Visits<b>ChawanKiti</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:06am<b>mintcon</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:14pm<b>thecouchisalive</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:50am<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:03pm<b>memily63</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:22pm<b>BassTurdo</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>yesIAmAnAsshole</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:12pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:32pm<b>candiicane</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:01pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 4:33pm<b>badminton</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:29pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Rajni_dev</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:23am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:11pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:14pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:24am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:39am<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:38pm

Raelthelamb's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Raelthelamb's badges

Raelthelamb's favorite FMLs

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (3460)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41332) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49273) - you deserved it (8725)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML

#20745796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42532) - you deserved it (2407)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (2823)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

#20740202
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (3193)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (10122)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (5262)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56743) - you deserved it (7979)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (2398)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (6446)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68719) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38963) - you deserved it (11102)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: