RachelRay18

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RachelRay18

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 225
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RachelRay18's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

RachelRay18's favorite FMLs

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

by Amy / 01/10/2013 at 12:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

by Dooh / 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm / Reserved / Intimacy