Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RaV3N911

Search for a member

RaV3N911
  • Town/Country : 6th october, Egypt
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 559
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

RaV3N911's last visitors

brooke_lalainevballgirly28mickaela_xALEXxhaylburgdead_insectsrainie713larson15jaffvisDejonEOhhhMaryypokeyprice

RaV3N911's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of RaV3N911's badges

RaV3N911's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38952) - you deserved it (6911)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18289) - you deserved it (34141)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (2854)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (2618)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (25415)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you deserved it (2934)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30616) - you deserved it (7918)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (5080)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (1611)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: