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RaV3N911's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by hopelesscollegechick / 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals
by serialkillingex / 05/07/2013 at 3:45am / Netherlands / Love
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Juliet / 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 11:51am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML
by KK3137 / 03/13/2013 at 10:50am / France / Transportation
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 12:43am / United States / Miscellaneous