About RMC000 : I don't talk about myself this much EVER, other stuff's more interesting.
Easy to talk to and laid-back; a sardonic and sometimes dry sense of humour. Low tolerance for dumb people but slow to anger. Love talking, telling jokes & goofing around. Growing up, I was always "that kid" who teachers enjoyed telling to shut up.
Into all kinds of stuff: military history, camouflage uniforms, weapons, politics, movies, foreign cultures, music and funny accents. An unusual line of interests, but they keep me sane and are enjoyable. What cash I spend on hobbies is only money that would've otherwise been spent on more damnable things like lottery tickets, porno mags or cigarettes.
I love history, a lot. I watch lots and lots and lots of movies. I love music, it is my escape.
Now you probably think I am the absolute weirdest person ever, but that's okay. I sometimes think that too. (If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?)
Me in a nutshell. Anything else you'd like to know? Ask.
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Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25746) - you deserved it (12243)
On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27591) - you deserved it (4809)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (6420)
Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9197) - you deserved it (25158)
On 03/22/2011 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (21046)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (3015)
On 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (24879)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (10491)
On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20824) - you deserved it (5093)
On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (3710)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35484) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12613) - you deserved it (36110)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (4415)
On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -
Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5113) - you deserved it (3974)
On 03/13/2011 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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