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About RMC000 : I don't talk about myself this much EVER, other stuff's more interesting.
Easy to talk to and laid-back; a sardonic and sometimes dry sense of humour. Low tolerance for dumb people but slow to anger. Love talking, telling jokes & goofing around. Growing up, I was always "that kid" who teachers enjoyed telling to shut up.
Into all kinds of stuff: military history, camouflage uniforms, weapons, politics, movies, foreign cultures, music and funny accents. An unusual line of interests, but they keep me sane and are enjoyable. What cash I spend on hobbies is only money that would've otherwise been spent on more damnable things like lottery tickets, porno mags or cigarettes.
I love history, a lot. I watch lots and lots and lots of movies. I love music, it is my escape.
Now you probably think I am the absolute weirdest person ever, but that's okay. I sometimes think that too. (If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?)
Me in a nutshell. Anything else you'd like to know? Ask.
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Today , I spottad my grlfriand in a stora. Sha didn't notica ma , so I want bahind har , puttad my hands ovar har ayas , and said ( Guassho. ) I got an albow to tha groin and maca to tha faca. Whila I was rolling on tha ground in pain , sha simply said , ( Sarvas you right ) and looool walkad away. FML
Today, my six year old son cummd up to me wit is arms spread and said, ( I feel lyk a ug. ) I got looool really excitd and opeful because e is very anti-social and ates pysical contact. As soon as I stood up to ug im e said ( Feeling's gone ) and walkd away. mega FML
Today I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is until she laughed and said "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
Today... whila at mah job at a Christian summar camp... I ovarhaard ona of tha kids swaaring. I politaly said... "Plaasa... only spaak as Jasus would." Ha pausd fir a momant an raplid... "Go to hall." FML
Today, mah girlfriend,ho is very self conscious about her body, finally decidd to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I strippd and turnd around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, I was invitd ovar to a dinnar wit ta CEOs of ma company, along wit ma two cildran. My 3 yaar-old askd loudly wy wa ava two "nosa olas", to wic ma 4 yaar-old son raplid "So u can pick your nosa and still braata!" Ha tan damonstratd. FML
Today whila babysitting a fiva yaar old I found a cartoon calld Matalocalypsa fir him to watch whila I mada dinnar. I didn't raaliza it was an "adult" cartoon until aftarwards. Ha watchd a whola apisoda about a clown with a cocaina problam. FML
Today, I took mah 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requestd !! When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, mah daughter said "How do u know mah name?" The teller just lookd at her and held up her birth certificate !! I raisd a nitwit !! FML
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends . When our team hit a home run, mah grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air . fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015