Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About RMC000 : I don't talk about myself this much EVER, other stuff's more interesting.
Easy to talk to and laid-back; a sardonic and sometimes dry sense of humour. Low tolerance for dumb people but slow to anger. Love talking, telling jokes & goofing around. Growing up, I was always "that kid" who teachers enjoyed telling to shut up.
Into all kinds of stuff: military history, camouflage uniforms, weapons, politics, movies, foreign cultures, music and funny accents. An unusual line of interests, but they keep me sane and are enjoyable. What cash I spend on hobbies is only money that would've otherwise been spent on more damnable things like lottery tickets, porno mags or cigarettes.
I love history, a lot. I watch lots and lots and lots of movies. I love music, it is my escape.
Now you probably think I am the absolute weirdest person ever, but that's okay. I sometimes think that too. (If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?)
Me in a nutshell. Anything else you'd like to know? Ask.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Friday 17 April 2015