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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9431) - you deserved it (42040)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (3172)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (2075)
On 05/28/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by mperh - United States
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (7725)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (44662)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10754) - you deserved it (23049)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:24pm - work - by scruffy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6607) - you deserved it (39715)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (31235)
On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27787) - you deserved it (3504)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (28388)
On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (4439)
On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34595) - you deserved it (6217)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (2898) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (14876) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (6769)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
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