About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (33665)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22203) - you deserved it (9589)
On 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by notpregnant (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20100) - you deserved it (1707)
On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (1951)
On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (1796)
On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (2628)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36024) - you deserved it (1423)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (2535)
On 11/11/2009 at 1:55am - money - by whoawhat (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (2507)
On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (14796)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (2606)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (8360)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (1582)
On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4706) - you deserved it (80259)
On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (1450)
On 10/11/2009 at 6:54am - love - by noo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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