About R3TROxLOV3 : What to say... :O
*I’m 18
*I’m a girl
*I devour books. Not literally Devour them, but devour them as in I read an average of 8 per a week
*I'm usually quite friendly, but if someone rubs me the wrong way, I can turn into a bitch from hell.
*I play 3 instruments (piano-1o years, viola- 8years, guitar- 2 years) and sing
*I laugh, A Lot
*Most people either like me, or hate me. Frankly, I don't care either way, because I'm not here to make you happy.
*I lack a filter, meaning i say things without fully processing what I'm about to say, and whether or not It's an appropriate thing to say in public. I will undoubtedly offend someone almost every time I comment, but usually not on purpose.
*I don't like it when guys on FML send me messages with pick-up lines. Seriously. I get them frequently and it's quite irritating. So stop it. I don't find it endearing, it just makes me homicidal.
… The End :)
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (36516)
On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (24688)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)
Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9133) - you deserved it (22472)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (34814)
On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (2160)
On 03/01/2011 at 7:11pm - health - by stillsick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (3256)
On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (2970)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (10384)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (3527)
On 01/29/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (1979)
On 01/20/2011 at 3:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5178) - you deserved it (38932)
On 11/23/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by horn-y (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (2374)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50054) - you deserved it (2524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (9596)
On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)
Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30640) - you deserved it (3137)
On 10/21/2010 at 10:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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