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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Unicorn City, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 3658
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : Hmm, what should I say about myself? I'm blunt, I completely lack a filter, and I can be quite rude when offended, irritated, or just because. I'm also unbelievably gullible, I compose music on 3 different instruments, I read a book a day, my favorite official world is spiffy (favorite unofficial word(s)? It's a tie between beautimous and funsies), and I love to laugh. I have an aversion to stupidity, so if you're lacking in common sense, do me a favor and stay away from me (See? There's that no filter thing). But in all seriousness, I'm nice unless you give me a reason not to be, that being said...

If you send me a private message, I'll most likely answer it, but DO NOT try to hit on me through them. It does not endear you to me in any way, shape, or form. Actually, it completely creeps me out, so just don't do it.

R3TROxLOV3's last visitors

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R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

#18553811
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (2870)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

#18322997
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (4135)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24840) - you deserved it (17023)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35076) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48977) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (13334)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (1901)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (170457)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

#18080621
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (31919)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States



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