Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

R3TROxLOV3

Offline (the 02/06/2016 at 5:17am) | Search for a member

R3TROxLOV3

24Fucked!

R3TROxLOV3R3TROxLOV3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 December 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11541
  • Number of comments : 410
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I basically have an alarming level of disdain directed towards all of you. Because of this disdain, I feel that roughly 99% of you aren't worth talking to. As such, refrain from messaging me, because I won't answer.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>Alexis2742</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:48am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 7:18pm<b>C0bblepot</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:34pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:19pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:41pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:28pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:43pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:07pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 8:22am<b>gabechriswill</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 1:16am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:37pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:42am<b>Robert3242009</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:22pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:55am<b>sam144</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 12:38am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 4:21pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:06pm

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:22pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:06pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:04am<b>puckyou</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:02am<b>patte</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:38am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:08am<b>coppersmith</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Estrangement</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:18am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:17am<b>zjay</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:35am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:24pm<b>teazyfisher</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:33pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:09am<b>bionicslash</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:13pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:40am<b>morlogg</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:31pm<b>corporatescoundr</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 12:09am

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50277) - you deserved it (4283)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40720) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (2509)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (3964)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (5365)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (3900)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (2249)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (3972)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (4307)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (6540)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

#18620132
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Jessica - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46536) - you deserved it (5471)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

#18553811
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (3328)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
115 comments


Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: