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R3TROxLOV3

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R3TROxLOV3

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6039
  • Number of comments : 348
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About R3TROxLOV3 : I don't like stupid people. That's really all you need to know.

Unfortunately I was under the impression that we all understood that FML is NOT a dating service, so I removed a portion of my profile recently. I shortly discovered that not all of us are aware of FML's non-dating site status, so I'm forced to put this back: I am not here to meet the love of my life. I'm not here to look for a f**k buddy. Heck, I'm not even here looking for friends. I am here because I want to read about suckish events that happen to strangers, and occasionally comment on comments posted by other people with the same objective as me. That being said, don't tell I'm pretty, don't ask where I'm from, what my name is, or what my phone number is. In fact, don't ask me for any personal information at all. I do not like being hit on by strange men, and deciding to ignore this incredibly long winded message will only earn you my scorn.

TL;DR: If you hit on me, I will bite you - and not in the kinky way.

R3TROxLOV3's page activity

Visits<b>Ltsdragons</b> - 19 hours ago<b>ooft</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Carpenter_C</b> - yesterday at 12:10am<b>LittleBells</b> - yesterday at 9:17pm<b>motherfogkerr</b> - yesterday at 1:34pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:17pm<b>RedMarie</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:52pm<b>piggybits</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:21pm<b>thereal_BA</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:50am<b>raphanne</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:26am<b>horneyhic</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:12am<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:26am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:38am<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:27am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:26am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:04am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:38am

Liked!<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:24pm

R3TROxLOV3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of R3TROxLOV3's badges

R3TROxLOV3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (4969)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (3565)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (3978)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (6079)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

#18620132
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (2638)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Jessica - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (5093)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

#18553811
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43108) - you deserved it (2619)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

#18322997
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37927) - you deserved it (4418)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (7069)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (22188)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36377) - you deserved it (3408)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)



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